For reasons I can’t really explain, I am dying to jump out of a plane. And do other things that will make my heart race astonishingly fast...I’m an adrenaline junkie...There is something about dawn I find intoxicating. I only wish I were awake to see it more often....But then again, there is a little thing called REM, which is pretty amazing too. So it's a toss-up really. Except it's not. Because the toastiness of curling up in bed is like G-d giving you a giant hug...I’ve lived away from home for ten years ago and I'm only twenty. So if you think about it, I basically raised myself. Knowing this makes me feel super cool...I still have a very hard time understanding why “a whole nother” is not proper English...I really, really want to go to the moon. And I am getting kind of impatient waiting for it to happen...I subscribe to the belief that you may wear rainboots even if it’s not raining. Just as you may wear sneakers even if you’re not running, flipflops even if you’re not at the beach and riding boots even if you aren't on a horse. And I pity the fool who doesn't recognize the soundness of that logic...I find it kinda funny that in order to sound like a decent human being on Facebook, you have to cram your messages with excitable characters like lol and :):):) and !!!!. With all of Facebook’s design updates, shouldn't they come up with better way to sound non-intimidating without overdosing on flirtatious emoticons? ;)....I understand that humor doesn’t translate well via email and sarcasm is often misinterpreted for spite. That’s why I think there ought to be a button you can press when you want your comment to be interpreted in sarcasm. Another for when you want to sound nice. And a whole nother one for when you actually intend to be mean...I am technologically challenged. But I still like to pretend I know the difference between 3g and 4g...It turns out that I am not, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader....Which makes sense since most of my knowledge comes from Snapple facts. And I heard they lie...I wish I could time travel to biblical times and chill with King Shlomo....Music is like a drug to me. Makes me feel alive. Except jazz. Jazz makes me want to punch things....These are the guys that once made me want to write: Dr. Suess. Louis Sachar. Roald Dahl....And the guys that keep me wanting to: David Sadaris. Jake Dubbs. Allie Brosh. Joel Stein....This list is the product of insomnia induced psychosis....I think I’ll go to sleep now.