I have just thought of a most genius website. It really just came to me, as most genius ideas do. Probably in the same manner that Facebook came to Mark. Upon its debut you will be astounded. This site will blow your mind. It will change your life. In fact, I'd venture to guess it will solve the infamous shidduch crisis and change the lives of all the people you care about too.
Say you like a guy. Or a girl. But say his name is Yossi. And you would like to date this Yossi. Luckily for you, I have created this ingenious website. You type it in your browser and find his profile. You click the ‘date me’ button below his photo. Now, one of two pop-ups will pop up.
If the destiny gods hate you; you will get the following popup:
Model #644 is currently out of stock.Unavailable. You cannot date him. He will not pick you up in a rented/borrowed/owned vehicle. He will not buy you a twelve dollar drink in a dimly lit hotel lobby. You will not get to know him. You will not pass Go. You will not marry him. And here’s why.
a) Busy. Dating other people who are not you.
b) Not ready for marriage. Because he is still in Huggies
c) Not interested in you. At all.
d) All of the above.
But before you let your little feelings get crushed and hurt, may we recommend these similar candidates we think you’ll enjoy.
The website will then generate a list of men/women similar in looks, characteristics, religious level and personality.
This is obviously a very genius concept. I will be ridiculously successful. I will become a millionaire. I will be famous.“Creative Genius Solves Shidduch Crisis,” the Crownheights.info report will read. There will be a photo of me and several photos my *doppelgangers who you will be more than welcome to date.