Sunday, May 9, 2010

Anoop Kumar Must Die


I met Mr. Kumar at the JFK airport. Two short hours later it was clear as day: Anoop Kumar had to die.

When I first met him he was nothing but a gentleman. He asked me how my day was, kindly took my heavy suitcase from me, lifted it into his yellow cab and opened the door for me. Very chivalrous, he was, that Anoop. Very kind. That is, until he wasn’t. And then he wasn’t at all. Especially when he was calling the cops on me…That was the especially mean part.

I don’t want to go on, so I’ll tell you this: Anoop tried to take me for a ride. Literally. And metaphorically. And instead of taking me the regular route from the airport to Ch, he took a longer one resulting in a meter totaling fifty five bucks. And in all my years of taking cabs to and from JFK I’d never paid more than forty. So I’d only brought $40 with me. When he heard that little piece of news is when he called the cops. And when I heard that he was doing that I called the cops to let them know he was holding my suitcase hostage and not letting me leave.

Prior to the name and cop calling, our dialogue went a little something like this:

Anoop: You pay me now!
Me: I’m sorry (sniff) I don’t have any more money.
Anoop: You not leave until you pay me.
Me: (bawling) I can give you forty. That’s all I have. Please let me go.
Anoop: No way.
Me: LET ME OUT NOWWWWWW!
Anoop: I’m calling the cops.
Me: Then I guess I’m calling the cops too. Take that, stupididiotjerk.

To make a long, tearful story short, the cops came. And there we were on President and Albany; Me, Anoop, five NYPD, and half of the President Street residents. Guess what? After all that, making me cry and like a good half hour of keeping me hostage he agreed to taking $40. Like what else was he supposed to do. Well, on the condition that I don’t complain to his boss.

And that, my friends, is how I came to the conclusion that Anoop Kumar had to die.


4 comments:

Chaya K said...

Is this true mushka????

mushka said...

lol yes. u cant make these things up.
which chaya is this? kessler, katzoff or kaufmann

Feivel ben Mishael said...

Yikes.

Former Dosik said...

Yes, a taxi driver must die for trying to get $15 extra that he may have needed more than you do. You can't screw people in a yellow cab in NY. You lose your license. He must have had a reason for the overcharge.

THIS is what your damn Judaism amounts to. Help your own and get some publicity for it - screw the rest of the world. That is why we had a Holocaust. The chosen people myth and all the fraud the Jewish merchants were up to made the Germans angry so they elected Hitler.

There is a man who thought exactly as you do. His name is Rubashkin. He'll die in jail.